I know I've been slacking on my blog, and especially on talking about adoptee rights (totally missed the 50 day letter writing campaign, and didn't write a single post during the protest). My apologies. BUT, I thought it would be awesome to share this video with you - created by a 13 year old, the daughter of an adoptee. Enjoy!
Showing posts with label adoptee rights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoptee rights. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
ARD Twitter!
The picture above is a link to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration's new twitter page! I was so excited when I saw this, I had to share it with you all. For more information on how to help end discrimination against adoptees, please click the same picture over there at the top right of this page, and it will take you to the ARD's main web site.
Monday, April 13, 2009
100 Days til Philly!
I'm going to be lazy and copy and paste...I forgot to do this earlier. Today marks 100 days until the Adoptee Rights Demonstration, to be held in Philadelphia, PA in conjunction with the annual Legislative Summit of the National Conference of State Legislators. There will be three letter writing campaigns leading up to the protest...one today, one marking 50 days til the demonstration, and one week prior to the demonstration. All the instructions are at the link listed below. I wrote five letters (one to the governor, two to senators, and two to representatives). They won't be postmarked the 13th, but they do have the correct date on the letters themselves! If you have a few minutes and a few stamps, please write a few letters. You can fax them, too, if that's easier. There are even instructions at the link below to have snail mail letters mailed online!
Oh...and here's crossing my fingers that DMC will be attending this year! Without further ado, here's the cut and paste:
Please go here:
http://adopteerightsphilly.blogspot.com/2008/12/letter-writing-campaign.html There is a sample letter there.
Write your letters and send them Monday April 13th. This marks the beginning of the 100 days to the Demonstration!
Send this out to everyone you know! Blog it, email it, Facebook it! Everyone you know should be writing a letter to their legislators, urging them to introduce legislation in their states that allows unhampered access to original birth certificates to all adult adoptees.
Please take part in this very very important step on the road to Philly!
Oh...and here's crossing my fingers that DMC will be attending this year! Without further ado, here's the cut and paste:
Please go here:
http://adopteerightsphilly.blogspot.com/2008/12/letter-writing-campaign.html There is a sample letter there.
Write your letters and send them Monday April 13th. This marks the beginning of the 100 days to the Demonstration!
Send this out to everyone you know! Blog it, email it, Facebook it! Everyone you know should be writing a letter to their legislators, urging them to introduce legislation in their states that allows unhampered access to original birth certificates to all adult adoptees.
Please take part in this very very important step on the road to Philly!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Equality
This is my friend Kate with two of her four children. Her oldest two children were lost to adoption. Because of closed records in adoption, her children will not be able to request their own birth certificates when they turn 18, like ever other American citizen can. Adoptees are the only people in America who legally do not have the right to know who created them.I'd like to know...what is the difference between Kate's oldest children and her youngest children? Why should her oldest children not have access to the same information her youngest children have? The same information every other adult in this country has a right to?
Over to the right of this post is a button to find out more information on the adoptee rights demonstration, coming up in July. Please take a moment to peek at that information, and lend your support in whatever way you can. If you have a few bucks to spare, they'd appreciate it; if you have five minutes to write a letter to your representatives, that would be awesome; and there are plenty of other things you can do to help as well.
Discrimination in this country, in all forms, is unacceptable. Please help send that message, and help my friend's children regain their rights as American citizens to know their roots, just like everyone else.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
My Interview With Domestic Witch
This is a copy of my interview over at the Domestic Witch blog.
Five minutes with Joy
Domestic Witch is happy to present an interview with Joy, who woke up with this wacky hair-do on the morning of her interview and knew the day was going to be.....different.
When I was little, my mom taught me. But she was pretty mean about it, and had zero patience. As a result, my crocheting sucked, to say the least, and it was nothing but frustrating for me. I did it for maybe a few months. Then, about 5 years ago, I decided I wanted to pick it up again. I bought a book, some hooks and yarn, and went for it.
So, I guess I just plan to talk about it a lot. I talk to people about it in real life, too, as often as I can. I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper yesterday. I write letters to state legislators and others. I just do whatever I can. I'm lucky to live in one of the few states that does have open records, but the rest of the states need to follow suit, so I'm going to keep working until all states are open.
How do you and your husband balance homekeeping?
I LOOOOVE Easter candy (again, Easter? Ostara? Well, there's a compromise for that one, I've seen Eostra a few times). The malted milk eggs (which weren't as good this year, for some reason) are always a favorite. Cadbury eggs. Yuum! I love corned beef and cabbage, but I've never really associated it with Spring until recently (I don't pay much attention). I'm so looking forward to that recipe!
Five minutes with Joy
Domestic Witch is happy to present an interview with Joy, who woke up with this wacky hair-do on the morning of her interview and knew the day was going to be.....different.What is your most established crock pot recipe?
Oh, I wish I had pictures. This one's yummy. It's from the book Fix It And Forget It Lightly on page 25
Slow-Cooked Chicken & Mushroom Stew (5 weight watcher points per serving)
Makes 4 servings (Ideal slow cooker size: 4-5 qt.)1 can of 98% fat free cream of mushroom soup
half a can of water4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
1/2 tsp. salt1/4 tsp. pepper
1/2 lb. fresh medium-sized white mushrooms, or a variety of mushrooms, cut up1 cup baby carrots
2 ribs celery, cut into small pieces1/2 tsp. garlic powder
Combine soup and water in slow cooker. Cut chicken into 2" chunks. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place in slow cooker. Add mushrooms, carrots, celery, and garlic powder. Stir gently to mix. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours or until chicken is done and internal temperature reaches 170. Serve with rice.If you like mushrooms, this recipe is TO DIE FOR!
I loved the red and black dramatic afghan you crocheted, who taught you how to crochet?
When I was little, my mom taught me. But she was pretty mean about it, and had zero patience. As a result, my crocheting sucked, to say the least, and it was nothing but frustrating for me. I did it for maybe a few months. Then, about 5 years ago, I decided I wanted to pick it up again. I bought a book, some hooks and yarn, and went for it.
I worked in a residential treatment facility with teenage girls for awhile, and I thought it would be so cool to give them something like that to do. I made mass copies of the book, and handed them out (along with some cheap plastic hooks) to any girl who wanted them. I worked night shift, so I'd sit in the girls' doorways after bedtime helping them learn how to crochet.
Crocheting has absolutely been the most fulfilling activity I've picked up as an adult. :-)
I had not heard of Adoptee Rights before reading your blog, how do you hope to educate others like me in your cause?
I participate in other forums where it's a topic of conversation a lot. I get a lot of information from reading blogs and message boards where adoptees and their first parents (i.e. the preferred term for "birth" parents) talk about adoption from their point of view. Until now, I've stuck to learning, but I think it will be a fairly regular topic of my blog.
One of the forums I belong to, where I'm usually very vocal, there are a lot of new people who come and go, and I have spoken to probably thousands of people that way. Not all people listen...it can be really tough to hear that adoption is not all rainbows and sunshine, and that there are negative aspects, too. It was certainly a shock to me at first, beings that my husband and I were planning to adopt. But it was extremely important to me that I open my mind and make sure that I was doing all I possibly could to be a good parent. Now, my focus is on doing what I can to help my friends.
So, I guess I just plan to talk about it a lot. I talk to people about it in real life, too, as often as I can. I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper yesterday. I write letters to state legislators and others. I just do whatever I can. I'm lucky to live in one of the few states that does have open records, but the rest of the states need to follow suit, so I'm going to keep working until all states are open.
How do you and your husband balance homekeeping?
This is a constant work in progress. We are both notorious procrastinators. I have a confession to make...we still have all our winter holiday decorations out. (I never know what to call Christmas/Yule because it's Christmas to him and Yule to me...maybe Yulemas? HAHA!) Yep, the little fiber-optic tree has fallen down, a lot of the ornaments have fallen on the floor, where the dogs have taken to chewing them up. The base that the tree sits on has fallen on the floor, which I realized yesterday. It's a sad sight. This has never happened before (normally, we just pile stuff up on the couches until you can't tell what all is under there, but we've never left the Yulemas decorations up until March before!).
We were doing pretty good for awhile there, using flylady. But man, this year, we have just dropped the ball. The few things we do have down pat are the "home blessing hour" (which Jason does), laundry (which I do), and paying bills (which we do together, or sometimes I do it if I have more time). Oh, and one person cooks while the other cleans up after. Otherwise...*blush*...we're working on it.
What Spring foods to you traditionally eat?
I LOOOOVE Easter candy (again, Easter? Ostara? Well, there's a compromise for that one, I've seen Eostra a few times). The malted milk eggs (which weren't as good this year, for some reason) are always a favorite. Cadbury eggs. Yuum! I love corned beef and cabbage, but I've never really associated it with Spring until recently (I don't pay much attention). I'm so looking forward to that recipe!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Freedom!
So apparently yesterday was Freedom Of Information day. It does not pay to skip a day of reading my message boards. But heck, a day late and a dollar short is pretty much my motto.
It seems appropriate that one of the ways to honor this occasion would be to talk about adoptee rights - open records. It makes no sense to me that an entire section of the population would be kept from their own information because of something they didn't even have the ability to agree to. This is THEIR information. The rest of us can have it. Why can't they? I mean, really, what on Earth did adoptees do to be discriminated against? (Not that I believe those who are discriminated against generally "deserve" it...I'm just pointing out how absurd it is that they don't have equal rights...and generally when a group of people IS discriminated against, the oppressors have some bogus explanation as to why the oppressed "deserve" it.)
Later on today, I'm going to draft a letter to the editor of my local newspaper. I hope you all will do the same. Freedom of information, indeed. For ALL people. Equally. Thank you very much.
I'm going to go off track here for just a minute. I read this question earlier today on another forum: "What do you think would happen if right here in American millions of people representing our brightest, healthiest, and most culturally advanced were stolen and forced into slavery? What might be the consequence of such an atrocity?" I am not equating adoption with slavery...I think there are some fundamental differences. However, it is very important to note that adoptees have less rights than the average citizen - and consequently, they are treated as second-class citizens - and that they were not a party to the contract that created this discrimination. Only the fact that the child-adoptee is completely powerless makes this contract even possible...adult adoptions are rare, and never decided without the adoptee's consent.
Anyway, that wasn't my point (just tying the two completely separate thoughts together...hopefully in some kind of cohesive manner). My point is that I have found myself often lately shouting about victim blaming and how utterly, grossly, abhorantly unacceptable it is. The farther away from my own abusive past I get, the better I am able to see the circumstances that created my victimhood. I now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I did NOTHING to bring on my own abuse (which CAN be equated with enslavement, in some ways). I was not a party to what happened to me. I did not create my abusers. I did not ask to be abused. And I absolutely will NOT stand by while others talk about what someone was wearing, or how hard it is to coerce someone who is "strong" (i.e. only "weak" people are coerced...pfft), or how "They wouldn't be [enslaved] because they were the brightest!". These statements are complete rubbish.
I AM SICK TO DEATH OF PEOPLE THINKING THAT VICTIMS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY THEY WERE VICTIMIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever heard that when women wear short skirts, they're "asking" to be raped? Guess what? She could have been wearing sweat pants and curlers, and STILL would have been raped, because rape is caused by RAPISTS, not victims. Women don't get raped when there are no rapists around.
I'm going to just copy and paste here my answer to the above enslavement question, rather than trying to reword it:
"Wow, it's really obvious that a couple of answerers have never experienced powerlessness. Their over-privileged lives have made it impossible to understand how to answer a question like this.
OP: All people have the potential to be the brightest, healthiest, most culturally advanced, etc. Often, when one is oppressed, they become the thing they are told they are - they become a self-fulfilled prophecy. When one is told they do not have rights, they FEEL that they have no rights. When one is told they are stupid, their performance drops. There are many studies that show this (have you seen the 'blue/brown eyes' study that a teacher did with her students?). And conversely, when people are held on a pedestal, told they are intelligent, etc., their performance increases, and they begin to feel they are 'better than' (as evidenced by a couple earlier answers).
This happens all the time. Each time a person or group of people are enslaved, we find out the answer to your question. This is an excellent film (although VERY tough to watch) that answers your question quite well: http://www.netflix.com/Movie/The_Experim... It's called learned helplessness. (Lots of research about that, too.)
It seems appropriate that one of the ways to honor this occasion would be to talk about adoptee rights - open records. It makes no sense to me that an entire section of the population would be kept from their own information because of something they didn't even have the ability to agree to. This is THEIR information. The rest of us can have it. Why can't they? I mean, really, what on Earth did adoptees do to be discriminated against? (Not that I believe those who are discriminated against generally "deserve" it...I'm just pointing out how absurd it is that they don't have equal rights...and generally when a group of people IS discriminated against, the oppressors have some bogus explanation as to why the oppressed "deserve" it.)
Later on today, I'm going to draft a letter to the editor of my local newspaper. I hope you all will do the same. Freedom of information, indeed. For ALL people. Equally. Thank you very much.
I'm going to go off track here for just a minute. I read this question earlier today on another forum: "What do you think would happen if right here in American millions of people representing our brightest, healthiest, and most culturally advanced were stolen and forced into slavery? What might be the consequence of such an atrocity?" I am not equating adoption with slavery...I think there are some fundamental differences. However, it is very important to note that adoptees have less rights than the average citizen - and consequently, they are treated as second-class citizens - and that they were not a party to the contract that created this discrimination. Only the fact that the child-adoptee is completely powerless makes this contract even possible...adult adoptions are rare, and never decided without the adoptee's consent.
Anyway, that wasn't my point (just tying the two completely separate thoughts together...hopefully in some kind of cohesive manner). My point is that I have found myself often lately shouting about victim blaming and how utterly, grossly, abhorantly unacceptable it is. The farther away from my own abusive past I get, the better I am able to see the circumstances that created my victimhood. I now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I did NOTHING to bring on my own abuse (which CAN be equated with enslavement, in some ways). I was not a party to what happened to me. I did not create my abusers. I did not ask to be abused. And I absolutely will NOT stand by while others talk about what someone was wearing, or how hard it is to coerce someone who is "strong" (i.e. only "weak" people are coerced...pfft), or how "They wouldn't be [enslaved] because they were the brightest!". These statements are complete rubbish.
I AM SICK TO DEATH OF PEOPLE THINKING THAT VICTIMS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY THEY WERE VICTIMIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever heard that when women wear short skirts, they're "asking" to be raped? Guess what? She could have been wearing sweat pants and curlers, and STILL would have been raped, because rape is caused by RAPISTS, not victims. Women don't get raped when there are no rapists around.
I'm going to just copy and paste here my answer to the above enslavement question, rather than trying to reword it:
"Wow, it's really obvious that a couple of answerers have never experienced powerlessness. Their over-privileged lives have made it impossible to understand how to answer a question like this.
OP: All people have the potential to be the brightest, healthiest, most culturally advanced, etc. Often, when one is oppressed, they become the thing they are told they are - they become a self-fulfilled prophecy. When one is told they do not have rights, they FEEL that they have no rights. When one is told they are stupid, their performance drops. There are many studies that show this (have you seen the 'blue/brown eyes' study that a teacher did with her students?). And conversely, when people are held on a pedestal, told they are intelligent, etc., their performance increases, and they begin to feel they are 'better than' (as evidenced by a couple earlier answers).
This happens all the time. Each time a person or group of people are enslaved, we find out the answer to your question. This is an excellent film (although VERY tough to watch) that answers your question quite well: http://www.netflix.com/Movie/The_Experim... It's called learned helplessness. (Lots of research about that, too.)
Victim blaming is absolutely 100% unacceptable."
I don't have a good way to tie this all up. I feel like I've had a good rant today. It feels SO GOOD to just SAY those things! We ALL deserve to have our own information! We ALL deserve to have equal rights! We ALL deserve to be treated with respect and dignity! We ALL can/could be victims! Victims are created by abusers, NOT victims! FREEDOM! (Said in my best William Wallace bellow.)
I don't have a good way to tie this all up. I feel like I've had a good rant today. It feels SO GOOD to just SAY those things! We ALL deserve to have our own information! We ALL deserve to have equal rights! We ALL deserve to be treated with respect and dignity! We ALL can/could be victims! Victims are created by abusers, NOT victims! FREEDOM! (Said in my best William Wallace bellow.)
Friday, March 13, 2009
RAOK Friday
So, this is my third post in a row mentioning the Adoptee Rights Demonstration. Can you tell I think it's important? Anyway, I saw the above RAOK Fridays icon (is that the right terminology), and I thought, hey...that would be cool. Well, what better blog to give this to than the Adoptee Rights Demonstration???
Equal rights for all! Unrestricted access to birth records for all!!!
Please support adult adoptees in gaining the same rights we all have - access to their original birth certificates.
Sisterhood Award
Aaaack! Oh my goodness, I've already gotten my first award! I'm so excited! Thank you to Together We Save for this award.
I'm supposed to nominate 5 blogs that show Attitude and/or Gratitude. Here are my 5 nominations (and to be clear, the ones that are adoption related are NOT being nominated for gratitude!):
Happy reading!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Adoptees
The issue of adoption has been a subject of intense study for me over the last few years. My husband and I are "former" prospective adoptive parents. Until a few weeks ago, we had planned to adopt via the state's special needs (i.e. foster care) program. Those plans have been put on hold, but will most likely not be resumed, for various reasons. But that's not my point. My point is that over the last few years, I spent a LOT of time reading and researching about adoption from the point of view of the children I meant to raise. And the best source of information I've ever been able to find has been from adult adoptees.
Some things I've learned, in no particular order:
Adoptees in the USA do not have access to their own birth certificates, except in six states
The sealing of birth information is a rather new occurrance, having begun in the 1930's
The original purpose behind sealing these records was NOT to protect the original parents (in other words, "birth" parent privacy is a myth...no "birth" parent has ever been guaranteed privacy)
Access to records of one's birth is a RIGHT for all other American citizens - just not for adoptees. Why should they have less rights? What have they done wrong to be denied the rights the rest of us have?
This is just scratching the surface, but I wanted to throw out a few bits of information that don't seem to be widely known or understood outside of those involved with the fight for adoptee rights.
And on that note, I'll explain that poster I have up at the top of this post. Last year, a group of adoptees gathered in New Orleans to talk to legislators about opening records so that adoptees will have the same rights as all other American citizens, and they're doing it again this year. Every human being should have access to their own information. It should be a human right - not a non-adoptee right. Please help my friends, and support the Adoptee Rights Demonstration. Here are some ways you can help:
Donate
Write a letter
Spread the word
Share the video
If you're interested in more information about closed records, here are some helpful links:
The Adoptee Rights Demonstration
The Basic Bastard
Adoption History: Confidentiality and Sealed Records
And if you go through the blogs I've subscribed to (and wade through all the coupon ones, lol), you will find some awesome blogs written by adoptees and first mothers. I'll add onto this tomorrow with more links.
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