Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

I watched a documentary not long ago about a small town wanting to add "intelligent design" to science classes. It was a little while back, so I don't recall specifically if they mentioned the FSM on the documentary, but I know that, one way or another, that documentary lead me to this website. I laughed and laughed...but in all seriousness, the FSM has really brought to light an important topic...NO religion is "better" or "more important" than any other. At least not in a society like ours, where there are so many various religions. One set of beliefs just CAN'T dictate what everyone in the country should do, when a good chunk of people just don't have the same beliefs.

I'm proud and humbled (yes, all at once) to participate in a Spiritual path that does not encourage a belief in "good" or "bad", "heaven" or "hell", "right" or "wrong". I could never participate again in a belief system that would send most of the people on this Earth to a fiery pit for all eternity...just for reading the wrong book.

Anyway, that's my little soapbox. But that's not what this blog post is about. Earlier, I read the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts (a take-off on the Ten Commandments), and it really made me crack up. So, I thought I'd share it with you all today. Enjoy!

THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

In the name of His Noodly Goodness, RAmen.